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Making the decision to live with your boyfriend/girlfriend can be huge and exciting but there is something VERY important you need to discuss before you do it.
First off, you don’t have to share how much you make if you’re not comfortable doing so, you can still talk about money, for example, writing down all your mutual expenses like: Rent/Mortgage, PG&E, water, garbage, WIFI, cable, and groceries. Then, split that down the middle.
It could get ugly when one is paying more than the other. Then the fights arise, and you throw it in each other’s face, that’s a no-no. If your partner wants to take on a little more just make sure it’s a mutual agreement. For example, my boyfriend pays Wi-Fi, PG&E and our gym membership by himself. I’ve offered multiple times to help but he wants to take care of it, so I let him and no one’s feelings get hurt.
If you two enjoy going out a lot, which we do, I suggest splitting everything. Like, he pays for movie tickets, I pay for snacks. Another good example is one of us pays dinner, while the other adds the tip and we alternate with that. Sometimes he likes to treat me and pay for everything and other times I pay for everything. There isn’t a scoreboard nor should be one, just enjoy your time together. If you’re low on $$$$$ suggest something else to do so you don’t feel bad not contributing or let him/her take the wheel if they can and want too.
Relationships are about communication, so my advice to you is being as open as possible about your finances. If you want to save for a car tell your partner you don’t want to have fancy dinners and movie dates every weekend. Don’t be ashamed to do so. Share with your partner your concerns and goals and maybe he/she can help you.
I’ve lived with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and we have never fought about money. He pays his bills on his own, I pay mine. As long as our mutual bills are paid on time we don’t get in each other’s business about who is spending more a month. Which to be honest it’s me. I buy a lot of clothes and am obsessed with buying shit I don’t need from Target, Amazon and TJ Maxx, but my boyfriend is helping me with this addiction! Lol.
Honestly, it’s not that scary to just talk to someone you love about money. You’ll realize that it is much easier.
One thing we don’t do is have a mutual bank account. We don’t believe in doing that kind of stuff…yet. Maybe one day but as of now this works perfectly for us and I’d suggest you start there first, especially if you just moved in together. You want to take it slow but like I’ve said communicate with your partner and be as open as you’d want to be. Everything will work out.